be still my soul.

i am finally back in Portland after a semester at bible college in maui. it was such a crazy semester! it's amazing the ways God works and teaches and molds us into the person he desires us to be. sometimes we don't get it until we take a step back and reflect on everything. as the time came closer to come home, i was getting more and more excited. however, the things i came home to i could have never even imagined. my entire world has been turned upside down and i am left standing in confusion praying that God has all of this under control.

my prayer over the last semester has been that i would learn how to live in God's peace versus drifting in and out of it. how do you do this and what does it look like when things are good? how about when its bad?

"I am coming to realize that the act of dwelling there, really living in the Shelter of the Most High, is a daily decision. No, It's more like an hourly decision, a moment by moment awareness of the Father."

Diane Comer

http://www.hespeaksinthesilence.com/

there are so many things out there competing for our attention whether it is Christmas shopping, ugly Christmas sweater parties, facebook, relationships, and the list goes on! we make daily decisions of where we will spend our time and essentially where we search for peace. these things will always fail us. you probably won't have the ugliest Christmas sweater, somebody won't like their gift you gave them, you aren't going to have a new notification every time you log into facebook, friends will make you mad and break ups happen. none of these things are bad! but they won't fulfill us or bring us peace either. even as Christians we can so easily fall into searching for satisfaction in these things without even realizing it. 

where are you searching for peace? in things of the moment or in things of eternal value?

"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance."

Psalm 32:7

"So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong."

Hebrews 12:12-13

a thankful heart.

Sometimes, well almost always it seems, I forget to look at all the good I have in my life. I mean, human nature is to be selfish which causes my blindness to God's blessings, glory and power. He chose me and provides me with more than I need and what do I do with it? Complain. It's not warm enough, their service was too slow, they were mean to me, I'm sure the list could go on forever. As I am sitting here, I began to look over old notes from church. A couple things I wrote stuck out to me.

Referring to Revelation 3:18 I wrote, "Christ will show you true riches and you will understand how to live in His presence." How much of that can I say is true in my own life? When I reflect on the blessings and wonders of the One who saved me, I see greatness, love, mercy, etc. But when I don't purposefully take the time to do that and something great happens, what are my thoughts? Usually nothing, just a "Hey that's cool!" and then I move on. Surely this is not what God is looking for by blessing His people. After all, He is a selfish God who created us to glorify Him in all we do. Instead my response is no or little response. How selfish and foolish am I to not even recognize my Savior when, even though I live in a broken world, all I need to do is glance around me to see His blessings and glory! If I can't even muster up a simple "thank you" in the midst of all this, who am I to even try to preach God's love and grace?! Don't get me wrong, my Momma raised me to be thankful for things but I am talking about a deeper kind of thankfulness.

In another set of sermon notes I came across was talking about being content with what He has given me. No more of always wanting more. I am becoming more of a woman every day, it seems I should know God will always provide more that I could ever need. It is so easy to get caught up in the moment and lose sight of what I'm living for. I'm not living only for the promise of Heaven but for fulfilling His perfect plan for my life. It is so important to recognize that where God has me right now is exactly where I need to be because He is preparing me for what is to come. I need to strive to make myself usable. I need to fall in love with Him all over again.  

What are you thankful for today?

open hands.

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me - everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you."
                                                                                                 Philippians 4:6-8

I am going to be honest. I am very good at worrying about everything. I have always been one of those annoying "what-if" people. Hearing the first line of these verses, "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything," sometimes drives me crazy. Don't people know that is so much harder said than done?!

And then I wonder why I only drift in and out of God's peace, not dwell in it permanently.

I am also very good at telling God all of my needs (at least what I think my needs are). I pray and pour my heart out to God and sing songs about surrendering everything to Him but then an hour later, the same thoughts and worries consume my mind.

I think so often as Christians we hear verses like this and tune out because we have heard them so often. In doing so, we miss out on such big things! For example:

1. God wants to know our needs.

     - - God desires the kind of relationship with us that we can cry out to Him when we are in need or struggling.

2. God deserves our thanks.

     - - Remember all that He has done for us already and give thanks! Are you breathing? He loves you so much he gave you that breath! If He can give life, what is stopping Him from providing everything else in life for you?

3. God gives peace.

     - - We all know how much better it feels to finally talk it out with someone. Just imagine what it would be like to talk it out with the Creator who already knows you better than you know yourself!

4. God wants us to continue to live in Christ.

     - - Giving things over to God isn't a one-time deal so continually and purposely recognize what things you are still holding on to.

5. God wants us to focus our thoughts on His desires.

     - - Something I struggle with after trying to give something over to the Lord is that I continue to think about it. Because of this, nothing really changes. I have gone through the motions but my focus doesn't always change; if it does, it's only for a little bit.

6. God wants us to practice it.

     - - This means that it's probably not going to be the easiest thing to do. I will still try to and successfully take things back into my own hands and look at the world through my eyes and not Gods. But that doesn't mean to give up. It takes practice.

God has been teaching me so much through different situations in my life. He is showing me what it's like to hold on to things with open hands so that He may still have control of my life. And let me tell you... sometimes it's hard, sometimes it hurts, and sometimes I might not understand. But in the end, it is all for His glory.

What are some things God is asking you to give up?

Blessings,
Stephanie

beautiful things.

Just what I needed to hear today.

Beautiful Things - Gungor

things far too wonderful.

Happy Wednesday everyone! I have decided that Wednesdays are one of my favorite days here in Hawaii. I think it's because Mondays and Tuesdays are so stressful and after Wednesday night, the rest of the week is so chill! Anyways...

I was thinking recently about the retreat my school had up in Hana a few weeks ago. We were so blessed to have an amazing speaker flown in from Colorado who constantly challenged us in every talk. On the first day, he asked us each to make a list of things we believed about God, things we adore about Him, and verses to back it all up. Sounds pretty easy, right? I made my way over some cliffs and finally found a quiet place to settle, watch the crashing waves, and make this list. My mind went blank. All I could come up with was words like powerful, Holy, loving, etc. All the words I have grown up hearing but in that moment, they weren't carrying the weight they should. God has brought me out of some pretty heavy stuff in my life, yet I couldn't think of any words to describe Him. It was as if I didn't know Him at all.

After much frustration, I remembered our speaker had mentioned something about the last few chapters of Job. I pulled out my Bible and opened to Job chapter 38 and the first thing God asks Job is "Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them." (Job 38:2-3 NLT). The Lord goes on to ask Job a series of questions over the next 4 chapters questioning Job about what he knows about God. In chapter 42, Job replies,

 "I know that you can do anything and no one can stop you. You asked, 

'Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?' It is I - and 

I was talking about things I knew nothing about, things far too wonderful 

for me. You said, 'Listen and I will speak! I have some questions for you, 

and you must answer them.' I had only heard about you before, but now I 

have seen you with my own eyes. I take back everything I said, and 

I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance." (Job 42:2-6 NLT).

His response really hit home for me. I realized that yes, I still know God and I do have a relationship with Him but I can't limit what I know about Him to the things that I have seen of Him. He is so much more than that and He has so much more to show me about himself! I couldn't think of anything to say because I was getting too comfortable in what I have seen of Him so far even though none of it was wrong. It is scary  how we can let ourselves fall into such a small view of God without even realizing it.

So what about you?
Who do you believe God to be?
What are things that you adore about Him?
Do you have a small view of Him or a big view?
How can you allow Him to teach you new things?

"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." - AW Tozer

just be.

I never realized how much I value my alone time. But then I moved to one of the most remote islands in the world where I didn't know anyone into a tiny condo with four other girls. Hopping in my car and going for a drive isn't an option anymore. Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely love each of those girls. They all make me laugh and encourage me every day. But still... I'm pretty introverted. I miss the time alone to think. The time to just be with the Lord.

Since moving out here, God has been teaching me a lot. One of the things He has really placed on my heart is my prayer life. I am beginning to see that at home I took so much advantage of opportunity for quiet time or prayer time that I never actually did it out of desperation. Desperation. That seems like a strange word coming from someone kickin' it on Maui but when God wants your attention to really grow you, it doesn't matter where you are in the world. God calls us to live uncomfortable lives and in those moments, the ones where you have no where else to go (like you're on an island or something..), that's when God can really move.

I encourage you to give yourself time to just be with the Lord. Don't get to the end of your life and realize that you have wasted every moment of opportunity to be with Him. He is waiting for you.

"So the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help." 

                                       Isaiah 30:18

aloha!

it has been a long time since i last blogged! my goodness.. so much has happened in the last few(ish) months!

i'm moving to Hawai'i!! 

the last time i was in Hawai'i i was in 8th grade! hence the embarrassing photo above.

why the move? 

two words: bible school. its always been one of those things that i have wanted to do but my work-too-much-and-go-to-school-regardless-because-i-have-a-million-years-left-before-i-can-actually-start-my-career mentality has kept the possibility of bible school in the far off land of the future. the last few months however, God has shown me a much, much greater plan. 

soo.. this last year was my first year at portland state university. 

pros: its in the the heart of my wonderful city portland, oregon//a few blocks from my secret devo dock on the river looking up at the city//coffeecoffeecoffee//the park blocks divide campus//THE best place to people watch//always new people to meet//great opportunities for outreach//watch portlandia

cons: way too many people(honestly if you see the same person twice you notice because that never happens, unless of course you have a class with them)//i get weird stares if i'm not drinking something that looks like old pee//it's one of the most liberal schools in the area//portland is one of the most unchurched cities in america//watch portlandia

God really used my short 9 months at psu to open my eyes to a lot of things. most of the cons i listed ended up really getting to me. i felt lost, out of place, and overwhelmed in the school. going into the year i wanted so badly to be a light to those who needed a Savior but found myself shying away from lots of opportunities. the LORD really opened my eyes to the shortcomings in my life. towards the end of spring term the Spirit kept putting bible school on my heart. i would run into people that have gone to ccbc south maui before and heard countless stories and seen how they have all come back different people. after lots of prayer i finally decided i'll turn in an application and just see what happens. i wasn't expecting to get in to the school because they don't allow too many people and my application was really late and i had a few road blocks along the way (but that's another story) that made it even more late. at that point it was going to be a miracle if i got accepted. but here i am! by the grace of God i was almost, if not, the last one to be accepted into the school. i am so excited to really study the Word and grow in my faith!

this year has been a crazy one full of changes and faith but i can't wait to see what else God has for me.

"For you are God's masterpiece. He created you anew in Christ Jesus so you can do the good things he planned for you long ago."

Ephesians 2:10

i encourage you to step out in faith to do the things God calls you too, big or small, because that's when you will see Him work.

blessings

the God of Abraham

when i read the bible, and i'm sure i am not alone in this, i tend to flip open to whatever sounds good in the new testament. some friends and i have been been going through the book of Romans and this week we landed in Romans 4. this chapter talks about Abraham and his faithfulness. i took a quick peek back at a few passages in Genesis (Gen. 12:4-9; 13:1-18; 15:6-18; 17:1-10, 23) to really see how Abraham put his faith to work.

how refreshing (and intense!) is the old testament! when you think about it, Abraham didn't have any Bible to base his faith off of nor did he get to experience or learn about Jesus! we have all this plus commentaries, podcasts, blogs, inspirational books/speakers, etc. he had the voice of the LORD.. i'm fighting saying the words "and thats it" because i don't like the way that sounds, but what else do i say? he had the voice of the LORD...and thats it. 

so often i find myself wondering stupidly why God doesn't move in crazy ways like He used to. but after really meditating on these scriptures, i began to realize that God doesn't change. the God Abraham so faithfully worshiped and obeyed is the very one i worship and seek to obey. this gave a whole new meaning to the phrase "its not you, its me". this passage combined with the book Forgotten God by Francis Chan has really challenged me to want to live my life differently. i live so comfortably here in my own little bubble but God calls us to more than that. He calls us to listen and move when he asks us to. if God told me to just get up and go, leaving all my family and friends behind, i'm sure i would have a little "no...that can't really be God" or "uhh are you sure...?" this questioning and ignoring His calls to me are exactly why i don't always see His amazing work in my life. Francis Chan says something in his book like God loves showing up when people desperately need Him because only then can no one else take away His glory. we need to be seeking the Spirit to the point where if He didn't pull through, everything would fall apart. after all, isn't that what Abraham did?

"Abraham never wavered in believing God's promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises. And because of Abraham's faith, God counted him as righteous." -Romans 4:20-22 NLT

blessings,

stephanie

spring cleaning

it's finally spring! i've recently decided i really like the spring. i love the new leaves on the trees, flowers i haven't seen in months and fresh air. unfortunately, we still have yet to see these things here in rainy portland. i went on a hike (the first one of the spring!) yesterday at Tryon Creek State Park and got to enjoy the nature God has greatly blessed us with in the NW (although we did run into a film crew on a trail filming the pilot for NBC's new show 'Grimm'.. not so natural).


the newness of spring is just so refreshing to me.


this year, along with my house, this spring i thought my life could really use a little spring cleaning. so far, it seems God has given this spring a theme for me: faithfulness. going through last fall/winter jobless gave me a lot of time to think about my life and where i am going. before that time i had been involved in young life, working full-time, school, life, etc. and all the sudden not having those things to keep me busy forced me to take a step back. god sure knows what he is doing! it was time for me to sit back and listen and trust that God has a plan for me and is calling me to much bigger things.


so i though i would start a blog to take you (if in fact, anyone takes the time to read) along for the ride! unsure really what to write about i took this little idea from another blog a beautiful journey. just some things about me and where i'm at right now :)


outside my window..
a beautiful moon
"O Lord I am like the moon
Without the Sun
I hang in darkness too
So be the light
The light that shines through
Reflect off me
The love that comes from You"
To Burn In You by Telecast


i am thinking..
blogging is a lot harder than it sounds...


i am thankful for..
a loving Savior and a wonderful family


i am learning..
to be faithful and patient


i am hearing..
Ashes and Flames by John Mark McMillan


i am reading..
the Word, Forgotten God by Francis Chan, Walking the Bible by Bruce Feiler
i recently vowed to watch less tv and read more (i love it!)


one of my favorite things..
listening to the amazing things God is doing in others' lives.


may God bless you with His "spring cleaning"-happy spring!